The phone ran a year ago. My silence shattered. My sister on the phone. Crying. Nothing new. Her life stained in a bad neighborhood. With drugs and gangs. There she raised her children, no matter how much family tried to help. She stayed.
And life fell apart. With that phone call and with the tears, her life ended. Her son's life ended, all because her son.
Took someone's life.
The unthinkable. No words could say how I felt at that moment. All my love and all my hate swelled up in my throat. I had no thoughts. I was sick.
Sixteen, on drugs, an alcoholic. Sixteen. And he had killed another man.
In a instant too many lives change. My family shamed and stained with the choice of a young man, a young man taken in by so many, hands that tried to reach. And still he choose that road.
This is the unspoken at parties. We laugh. And talk, but over our heads is this darkness. The unspoken child sitting in a cell, for the rest of our lives, for the rest of his. And we go on. Our life goes on. But his stands still, forever. Till the day he dies.
And that unknown family that mourns. For the father, husband that is forever lost. They shares in the darkness of the brutal. Unthinkable. The pain of losing someone they loved and cared for. That cared for others. And dreamed of happily ever....
And I know no words, no thoughts will make it go away. But sometimes I close my eyes and wish it away.
Wish for that boy to walk the earth again and do good. To know we loved him.
For that father that is gone to embrace his family. Whole.