Posted by Anonymous.
Dear Boyfriend of 8 years,
I love you, really I do and I know you love me even if you do not express the words as much. We have been together for 8 years. We are respectively 29 and 30 I think it's time we tie the knot already. Come on, we have lived together forever! Your very best friend in the world is getting married in about a month, and when I mention don't you think we should follow suit, you tell me "I don't follow Suit I wear Suites", while I enjoy your humor, it did hurt a little. I seems that you don;t want to marry me.. we are practically married lets just jump into it already. I'm really ready for kids, you mention them but when I start saying I think it's time we start to think about a family of our own you say we have time.. Yes, but dear boy I want more then one..
And while we are at it, I know your music is important to you really I do. Who else would put up with you in the Computer room 85% of the time? I know you're working on your music and I used to get upset, not so much anymore as you have tried to give me more time, But still is it necessary for you to stay in there on a Saturday from 8am-8pm. I would love to see you sometime away from the computer.
I may not mind so much if you would do something with me that involves leaving the house every so often, I have fell in love with an antisocial man, I know this and I accept it to a certain point, I know crowds make you anxious and I try not to ask you to do things I know you would be miserable doing, but please just say yes to something I ask you to do with me..Want to go to a picnic with my cousins, who you still have not met and again we being together for 8 years, you really should have met them by now.. Nope ok.. Wanna go to the movies.. you say yes but always find a way to get out of it.How about we go next week..I agree and it never happens..
Also when you are mad at me for the love of god please tell me why. You just shut down and that is that, you may or may not talk to me for the rest of the day, and then when you get over it as you always do, I never know why you were upset to begin with. It;s just like it never happened..
I know I should be telling you all this to your face, but i'm a coward and I really don't want to ruin the great thing we have when your not in the computer room or not talking to me.. You really are good to me when you want to be and can be really sweet. But the sweetness lately has come few and far between.
I think you don't know how good you have it with me. No, I'm not perfect, I'm not the best house cleaner, I have my faults but I'm pretty damn easy to please and get along with. I am the most non demanding person on the face of the planet and I wish you would just wake up and see it sometimes.
Everyone that knows us say he has it so good with me. Including his Mother, but I don't think he see's it at this point.. I don't have to heart to break up with him just so he see's how much he has in me. But what else can I do.. I just need honest advise how to talk to him and tell him how I feel. I am the type of person that holds in everything! I hate confrontation and if I can avoid it I will. even if it is at the expense of my own happiness. I get nervous talking to big or even semi-big crowss.. i'm just a quiet person that tries to please everyone...I'm just afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing and ruin everything, because it's not all bad..there are really good times.
I've always been put last in people's "lists" my whole life: my mom, and now him, I just want someone to put me first... WOW this got long...
Thanks in advance for any suggestions or advice!