Posted By Anonymous.
A part of me - a rather large part of me - wishes that you knew about this world of blogging, that you would find this blog, that you would read this post, and that you would know it was me. I would send you this in a letter or message, but I have no way of contacting you now.
It's over. It's over, and I am having such a hard time dealing with it. I always knew you would go back to her. That was never the issue. The issue was that I decided whatever time I could have with you was worth it but that I needed your help to protect my heart. I tried to make this clear and asked one thing of you: tell me the truth about the situation. You agreed.
You didn't tell the truth though, did you? You withheld information the entire time, which I was able to find out about through chance, the grapevine, and intuition, but that's even more forgivable than what you did last and what you are doing now.
You said you wanted to talk to me. We even met up, but it didn't happen - I assume because there was such a large crowd of our friends. When I tried to contact you afterward, you didn't respond. I tried 3 different times to contact you over the period of a week and give you the chance to talk to me/reschedule/keep your word. (You requested the meeting after all. If you weren't going to talk to me, why even bother?) Apparently I don't even merit a response.
For over 6 weeks now.
Don't you get it? The precaution was so I could LET GO. So I could HEAR IT FROM YOU that she was what you wanted (because in the past when things like this happened - before we were as involved - it seems you didn't want her back, and that's why you came back to me). So in my heart, I could realize that your happiness truly lies with her now.
I set myself up to let go under those circumstances because of our past. I thought I made it clear to you. I'm stuck. I'm trying to let go of the emotional connections I made with you. I am in therapy and making progress, but I still need to hear it from you.
Please. I know you rarely show the type of bravery I am asking for, but grow some ovaries. I know there is a strong woman under that passive front. Just talk to me. Help me get over this. Tell me the truth.