Posted by Anonymous.
You don't know how good you have it. I cook, clean and care for you. I drive you to the doctor's, I pay for your insurance, your life. For over 2 years now you have been actively seeking out women to cheat on me with. I am not sure if and how many times you have actually succeeded in this. I know why I stay but I don't know if you know why I am still here.
I am here because you are disabled and I promised "in sickness and in health". While I don't think anyone would blame me for leaving you, I don't know if I can be that woman - the one who leaves the physically and mentally disabled man.
And yet I wonder what you tell these women you email. I wonder if every time I go out of town for a day or a few days if you are meeting someone for a tryst? I wonder if I should start having my OB/GYN check me for STD's? I wonder how you can sit in church on Sunday morning without the guilt eating you alive?
If you were not disabled I would have divorced you in 2007 when this first came to light. If it were not for you I would not have left the job I liked to take the one I didn't but paid more. If it were not for me spending far too much time on personal things (like your disability applications) at work I wouldn't have lost the job I hated.
The thing that kills me is I met someone else, someone who is kind, caring, sweet, someone who I have an almost electric attraction with. We both feel it, one night in a moment of weakness I spent some time alone with him, he held my hand, he stroked my knee, he told me I did not deserve what was happening to me. I resisted temptation. I will not be THAT WOMAN. I will not be the one to cheat. And yet I think when I find out more and more about your ridiculous sex site accounts and the things you say you want from these women - I think if only you were gone maybe just maybe I could develop a relationship with a man that knows what it means to be faithful.
I have to remind myself frequently that your disability is not just physical. That mentally you are incapable of making logical decisions. And I'm so sad that I am tied to you by vows I guess I never thought I'd have to keep even though I know you are not keeping up your end of the bargain.
It sucks. I cook, clean, care for you, and yes I still love you. And day in and day out you betray me in the worst possible way while I have to pretend I know nothing about it. I'm 39 years old and feel trapped by all of this responsibility and duty. Trapped is no way to live.