Posted by Anonymous.
I married your ex husband and raised your three children. They were 4,5,and 6 when you left and 15, 16, and 17 when you killed yourself. You left me here holding the bag.
I took you in and made you a part of our family so that YOUR kids could get to know YOU. I raised them as if they were mine and they never wanted for anything. Except for you, that is... You were around in the end but you were more like a favorite aunt instead of a mom. They loved you then and even more now. I disciplined them, taught them right from wrong, loved them unconditionally, held them while they cried over your absence, tried to explain why you left them with their dad, I was everything you didn't want to be.
So why did you do this to me? I never resented you for leaving your responsibilities with me! I loved you as a friend but I loved you mostly because you were the mother of the children that I loved so much. Since you have been gone the two oldest kids will not speak to me any longer. They hate me for doing your job for you.... Your family hates me for raising and loving your children. How could you be so selfish? Were you trying to get back at me for taking your place? What else was I supposed to do? You gave them to me and they needed someone to care for them, so I did.
In the wake of your death, your children have turned their anger on me. It breaks my heart that the children I love so much, resent me so heavily. It pisses me off that you were a horrible mother but now that you are gone, you were the greatest thing that ever lived. Your oldest son wasnt even speaking to you when you died because he was so angry at you. Now he goes around telling everyone what a great mother you were. I wasted the last 15 years of my life raising your kids. I devoted the last 15 years of MY life to YOUR kids! I hate you for what you have done. I regret the day that I ever told you that I would take care of them! This has turned out to be the worst mistake I have ever made. You took a really good thing and destroyed it. But I guess that was what you did best! Destroyed everything good in your life. Yet, somehow, I am the bad guy! How does that happen?
It has been three years and it seems to get worse as time goes by. You took the love that I felt for those kids and turned it into anger, resentment and regret! I took you to get help and you pushed me away. I knew this was coming and I threw my hands up because I was so frustrated. I am so sorry I didn't try harder to save you. Maybe if I had, "our" kids would still love me. But, what's done is done, and your kids are lost in this world without you and now without me. If I could go back in time, I would NOT do this over! I hope you are happy where ever you are! Just so you know.... we are anything but.